This is my..DeAth Note

●Dear● -Dead- ●Diary● ♥♥♥

This is a story of me, my life and my experience.
I'm MIcheLlE.
I am not held responsible for any forms of vulgar comments and personal opinions in this blog.
Read it at your own risk, by all means,
If you find it offensive and inappropriate,
Dear you, just simple, DON'T read.

~P.E.r.I.o.d~

(Thursday, September 3, 2009-)
+6:15 PM]*

# -

Urgh. Okay. Today I'm gonna self humiliate. Well, I guess that's me, and I can't deny how bad I look last time. Boyish, funny and ugly. Argh.

Those short hair days is just... weird. No doubt I love having my hair short, where there's no need for me to comb my hair, save shampoo, save conditioner, save time letting my hair dry, less maintenance, and da' good list goes etc.

But I also need to consider my blardy chubby face- where I just don't suit short hair. sigh. sigh.

Look at this. I look oh-my-goodness-is-that-me?!

The good ol' short hair

Look how tomboy I used to look

Even from afar you can actually see I looked funny.

So yeah, I used to be such a tomboy that my cousin keeps pestering me to wear skirt with her. Oh boy, she taught me how to be more lady like, and well she's just a woman lah. From her accessories and clothes, she's a total woman. From me? You can see all sorts.
When I feel boyish, I wear baggy shirt and jeans. When I felt girlish, I wear skirt and blouse.

Even my mom and aunt used to buy me spaghetti strap for me to wear. When I wear it with a jacket, my mom said I'm old fashioned. When I wear shorts inside my skirt, my mom thinks I'm crazy. And thinking about it, I can never wear a spaghetti strap alone - I will really feel self conscious and felt like everyone is looking at my big arms.

But as time goes by.... I've slowly evolved into a more girly phase, where I, wear skirt, was introduced with makeups, dresses and started to feel.. why not wear my sleeveless stuff after all? I can just flaunt it now better than later... If I flaunt it later people will be thinking I'm either 'fat hao', miang, or trying too hard to impress. meh. This few years are my only years that I can wear anything without people's wrong perception.

So here I am, a well balanced woman with/without style. At least, I'm improving to be a greater me. But again, my face is still as chubby, and my face doesn't change much after all these years. Hmmph. *saddens*

......dots.

Then also, talking about the quiet n shyness. I can really see the difference @ the past and present. During my primary school days, I can tell you that... I only talk with 3 of my close people, the one who sat next to me and the two behind. Other than that, I hardly talk, some people might not even knew my existence. Every year, my record books showed that my communication skill is having the lowest mark. Teachers even commented to my parents that I'm so self-absorbed and did not participate much in class. That's how introvert I am. And, most of my friends are malays. heh, I'm the only chinese weh~ cool huh? And we still close friends as ever. I only had one close chinese friend in my primary school. mm.

Here goes the first few years of secondary school. Was still the same.... but definitely better. Shit, I think I'm still the same. In tuition classes as well... I just talk to friends that are sitting close to me.. never bother to broaden my circle of friends..never bother to talk to them, look at them... mm.. I sounded so arrogant and stuck up lah. I just hope I didn't give that impression on people. I'm just plain shy okay. I'm still like that.

Then I slowly tried to pick up my communication skills... as I progress further in my life.. but sigh, I do think during my college years I'm still the quiet one... But I can tell you.. my working experience has taught me so much... I was force to communicate more... talk to different kind of people, with various attitudes and broaden my perspective towards guys and working life... As you guys know.. I was brought up in a all girl school, college only few guys and uni only few guys. Hmm. So yeah, Don't know guys much. I'm thus really thankful that I was exposed to the working atmosphere. I definitely can see the change inside me...

So in uni I've tried to communicate more, but language is the barrier. Oh well, at least I know I've tried, rather than not bothered. Mm. see. I'm a better person-in a way. I hope. What u guys think? =(

4 .deaths.
And the story ends like this...period.
By: M i c [ H e L L ] e .
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