This is my..DeAth Note

●Dear● -Dead- ●Diary● ♥♥♥

This is a story of me, my life and my experience.
I'm MIcheLlE.
I am not held responsible for any forms of vulgar comments and personal opinions in this blog.
Read it at your own risk, by all means,
If you find it offensive and inappropriate,
Dear you, just simple, DON'T read.

~P.E.r.I.o.d~

(Thursday, May 13, 2010-)
+7:10 PM]*

# -

Dear long lost blog...

hhaha... I wonder if the people who occasionally read my blog still reads my blog...

Ain't that boring huh??

Sorry, been busy super duperly with my eff up exams - 8 subjects, all crammed into 8 days from mon-sat, then mon-weds again.

I've been, neglecting my blog, my facebook, and my personal entertainment along the process, but never fail to sleep more.

Now, the exams are over.

I was supposed to be all cheery and happy that it is finally over, where I can find a place to rest my head, after full month of 'uploading' the paper with words, into my so-called built-in CPU in my brain. Sadly my brain wasn't trained to do so, and so I was kinda 'laggy' in terms of studying my notes ...

No point regretting it now, as I always have. I've realised that for the past years I've been saying to myself "I know I can do it better" or "shit, I know this, but I just somehow screw it"

Yea, this goes on up to my adulthood life. Oh boy. Time to change? As an adult I should be thinking more of the benefits rather than regrets. I should be thinking maturely not naively.

Somehow, just right after my final paper, I felt... so ... sad and down on the contrary...This is because, I know I didn't do quite well for my papers, up to the point where I think the possibility of failing is quite high. Yes, high indeed. Should I prepare myself with the resit paper now?

Such humiliation, and I'm just so arrogant and my pride is everything. I don't like going through resits, and that's because it shows that you suck, you stupid, and you didn't take much effort to pass. Well, up to certain point where yes, I do agree, I'm rather stupid...hence I got to face the consequences of being stupid and that is to resit.

I've been all lucky all the while throughout my semesters. I've been lucky. So lucky indeed. The subjects where I thought that I would fail ended up passing, and the one that I thought would ended up getting high marks ended up getting lower than expected. That said, I knew many of the batchmates are so so So competitive and smart.

And I'm the vice versa. I don't study when I need to. I don't to my work when I got to. I don't take any initiative to be that smart girl. To be what people want me to be. To answer the questions that people don't understand.

Yes, I'm down, bear with my words, I'm just uttering my heart out.

There's a big chance of me failing some of my subjects, no doubt. Part of me says "you deserve it" and part of me says "what is done is done.." and the other part of me says "please, pass..."

I'm deranged... I know I didn't do well...

If I fail, I got to MIA again...sigh..and I hate the part where you got to tell your friends that you've failed, you need to resit, and the lecturers in charged will be looking down on you... well, friends also la. wad can I say.

If I pass, I will just thank God.

That's all.

2 .deaths.
And the story ends like this...period.
By: M i c [ H e L L ] e .
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