This is my..DeAth Note

●Dear● -Dead- ●Diary● ♥♥♥

This is a story of me, my life and my experience.
I'm MIcheLlE.
I am not held responsible for any forms of vulgar comments and personal opinions in this blog.
Read it at your own risk, by all means,
If you find it offensive and inappropriate,
Dear you, just simple, DON'T read.

~P.E.r.I.o.d~

(Monday, September 20, 2010-)
+11:11 PM]*

# -

I believe each and every one of us been sad before, 'nuff said.

Then again, how do you handle sadness? Do you just keep it to yourself or blurt out to your closest ones? Or even just do the self-hurt therapy?

There are many reasons to be sad- numerous issues and conflicts in our daily lives that we couldn't help but to feel a little down and depress, sometimes to the breaking point. Be it due to studies, relationship issues, family matters or even money money money, as some might suggest it would be the root of all evil.

So I have been sad due to my studies.

Yes, because I knew my very self. I hate to study but why do I bother taking up a course which requires me to study? Was it for challenging myself? But whatever that is, I don't seem to find myself so stressed as compared to my uni mates by all means because of, one little fact : I don't care as much as them.

And so I have been sad due to my relationship.

It was not all sweet and dandy- In fact there are many conflicts we had to face for this 2 and the half years of relationship. Funny how we can actually pull it off that long, maybe the compromising and patience plays a role, but how far can this hold is really, unknown.

Another sad is due to family matters.

Don't know why, can't seem to be communicating with them properly. All secrets and problems remained shut. I can't talk studies and relationship problems that I'm facing due to the fact that they simply will just berate and nag at me for being such an immature adult. Tell them it is hard to study this course : Always say that I am being such a lazy kid and not studying properly that is why I find it hard. and you know, list goes on!

Another thing is that, some of my family members are having a hard time coping with their health. Uncle was diagnosed with stroke, and aunt was diagnosed with cancer, mom was diagnosed with diabetes and so on and so forth. Boils down to me, that I have actually the risk factor of having diabetes, cancer and brain attack. Scary- I would just rather die on plane crash or something quick so that I don't have to suffer the pain and sufferings.

Throughout my life, sadness was part of it. Happiness was just a minor character in my life. The major part of my life philosophy was ''Ignorance is a bliss''. Sigh, well I'm sure most of you have your own problems to share and to deal with.

So how do I deal my sadness? Last time I would have gone for physical abusing myself, not wanting to list here but that was just a part of growing up I guess? I remembered once when the doctor actually noticed my scars and asked me what happened. All I know was I told them I accidentally scratched myself but he doesn't buy it. HMM. Was afraid of my peers and family noticed my scars so for the whole month I actually wore long sleeves..

But now, as an adult, those sad matters, I just dump it to my closest ones. Well of course, family would not be the option like duh? Those friends that I treasure most. =) Sorry for those who are involved but I guess you are the one that made my day. hehe!

2 .deaths.
And the story ends like this...period.
By: M i c [ H e L L ] e .
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